#There is absolutely no way that I should be wasting money like that on terrible wrestling merch
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cavity-collector · 3 months ago
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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whysamwhy123 · 1 year ago
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DG has a new shirt out, it is terrible, and I am 10000% considering buying it as a birthday gift to myself.
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m1ckeyb3rry · 6 months ago
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i just read your sae fic and it was absolutely amazing, gorgeous, life-changjng! and when i went on to check your masterlist for bllk, i was shocked when you were the one who wrote the nagi x reader x kira fic bc I've been following it for a while and then i immediately tapped the follow button :x but if you can (only when you have the time and energy), can you write rin whose family is a host for exchange student! reader from another country? it could be hs or college, depending on whichever you're comfortable with. thank you <33
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── CHERRY TREE
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Synopsis: You are one hundred percent convinced that Rin Itoshi hates you — and he does, but not exactly in the way you think.
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Event Masterlist
Pairing: Rin x Reader
Chapter Word Count: 6.2k
Content Warnings: cheesy and cliched asf, otoya and KARASU <3 make brief appearances, rin is rude ngl but reader is as well, rin does not know what a “crush” is, he’s probably ooc as well atp i should just include that on all of my works jic
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A/N: i can’t believe i started bllk because of a rin edit and yet i’ve never written for him…also i’m glad you liked seabird and peregrine anon!! thank you for following 💖 sorry it took me a min to respond to this
Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own.
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If you didn’t know that your parents would probably put you in an early grave for wasting their money, you would’ve caught the next flight back home from Japan in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, you were far too afraid of their ire, which meant you were stuck in this hostile environment until the end of the semester — assuming, of course, that you managed to survive for so long.
Over the summer, applying to your university’s special first-semester-abroad program had seemed like a good idea. You were already going to be traveling far from home to stay on campus regardless, so your reasoning was that you might as well experience a different culture while you were at it. Besides, the program claimed to pair participants with a host family that would be good fits for their personalities and needs — based on a survey, which in hindsight you really should’ve lied on — so you would be living in relative comfort, at least compared to the ancient dorms on the main campus that probably had thirty different species of mold growing on their walls.
Or, well, that had been the plan. Maybe it was even a reality for the rest of the people in the program, who had no doubt been placed in normal homes, with normal people, who had normal children and normal lives. For you, though, it could not be further from the truth — because you had had the great misfortune of being chosen to live in the same house as Rin Itoshi for the duration of your stay in Japan.
To put it simply, he hated you. He had started hating you from the moment you stepped foot into his house and put your things in his brother’s old room, and he had not stopped since. If you happened to cross paths with him, he’d scoff at you, and considering the fact that the two of you lived in the same house, this was a frequent occurrence. Whenever you tried speaking to him in Japanese, he’d wrinkle his nose and respond in English, telling you that you were so terrible at the language, you might as well give up now and move back to your country early. Once, his mother had suggested he take you to hang out with his friends, as you were all roughly the same age, and he had rolled his eyes so hard that it was a surprise they didn’t get stuck in the back of his head.
There was no doubt about it: your mere existence was a burden to Rin. You couldn’t explain it in any other way; after all, how could he have decided he disliked you before you had even spoken? So you did your best to be as helpful and kind as possible, keeping the house neat, cooking food whenever the elder Itoshis had to work late, staying silent if he happened to enter the same room as you, and offering nothing but slight smiles if you were forced into an interaction with him.
“You know,” Mrs. Itoshi began one day, as you were eating the dinner she had made for all of you. Rin was on your right, and Mr. Itoshi was across from him, his jovial face such a contrast to his son’s dour look. “Rin’s on the Japanese soccer team.”
“Wow,” you said noncommittally. You hadn’t known that; you had assumed that Rin’s hobbies involved throwing stones at unsuspecting children and tripping old ladies as they crossed the street. Soccer had been the last thing you expected, though it did explain his admittedly splendid physique. “Very impressive.”
“Not really,” Rin said. 
“Why don’t you take her to watch your practice over the weekend?” Mrs. Itoshi pressed. 
“She’s not interested,” Rin said. Of course, you really weren’t — why would you want to watch Rin and his friends kick around a ball for a few hours? It would be a waste of time, time that you could spend working on homework or clearing your ‘to-be-read’ list. But you also weren’t fond of people speaking for you, especially not him. He was the last person who could claim to know anything about you, so by what right could he say that you weren’t interested?
“Actually, I wouldn’t mind going,” you said, batting your eyelashes at him innocently when he glared at you out of the corner of his eye, his expression one of utter disgust and incredulity.
“There you have it! Be sure to introduce her to your teammates. I’m sure they would love to show her around,” Mrs. Itoshi said. Rin snorted.
“Oh, I’m sure they would,” he said, though when he did, it sounded different than what Mrs. Itoshi had surely meant. But you were obviously the only one who picked up on it, and you didn’t want to make dinner unpleasant, so you could only ponder what he might’ve meant in your head instead of asking him outright, as you really wanted to.
Although it was the weekend, Rin’s practice was early in the morning, before the day could really heat up and make exercising unbearable. That meant it was before even the sun’s rise that you were following after him, your books clutched in your arms as you waited at the bus stop.
“Why’re you bringing all of that?” he said when the awkward silence grew to be too much for either of you to bear.
“I’m planning on getting some homework done while I’m there,” you said.
“Why didn’t you just stay home if you wanted to do homework?” he said as the bus pulled to a stop in front of you and the doors flew open. Due to the early hour, there was almost no one else on the bus, but given your unfamiliarity with the route, you still followed after Rin, sitting across the aisle from him and putting your things on the seat beside you.
“I dunno,” you said. “I guess I wanted to meet your teammates. Since they would just love to show me around.”
“Stay away from them,” he said. “They’re a bunch of NPCs. All of them are probably the worst people you could ask to show you anywhere.”
“NPCs?” you said. “That’s pretty harsh to say about your own peers.”
“It’s not like we’re friends or anything,” he muttered, crossing his arms petulantly. “I’ll call them what I want.”
“Sure, whatever you say,” you said, massaging circles into your forehead to ward off your impending migraine. Rin raised his eyebrows.
“Got a headache?” he said, in that same clinical, detached voice he always used.
“Yeah,” you said. And you’re making it worse. You wanted to add that, but you thought it probably wouldn’t be prudent, so you kept your mouth shut.
“Don’t stay up so late on your phone, then,” he said. 
“It’s the only time I can call my friends and family. They’re in a different time zone,” you explained before pausing. Why did you feel the need to justify yourself? It wasn’t like Rin particularly cared either way. He was just giving you that advice because he wanted to boss you around and be rude to you. It was a symptom of dislike, not worry.
You had imagined Rin to be an obsessively punctual person, but to your surprise, it seemed like you both were actually some of the later ones to show up. Perhaps the rest of the team was even more concerned with earliness than him, or maybe you had somehow caused him to be later than he typically was, but either way, by the time you walked onto the field, the others had already gathered, chatting amongst themselves while they waited for their coach to arrive and start the practice.
“There he is! We were beginning to think the world might’ve ended,” a boy with dark, styled hair and a beauty mark beneath his left eye said with a grin. “Nothing less could get you to miss practice, eh, Rin?”
“It still might have,” another boy said. His pale hair was streaked through with green, and he wore an inviting smirk as he pointed at you. “Yo, girl. What kind of blackmail does he have on you? Blink twice if you need help. We’ll get you out of there.”
“Um, he’s not blackmailing me or anything…” you said, glancing at Rin for aid before remembering that he would probably rather jump off of a cliff, backwards and into the jaws of a dozen waiting sharks, than help you out.
“So you’re hanging out with him willingly?” the pale-haired boy said. “Yikes. You can do much better.”
“I kind of have to hang out with him,” you said. “I’m staying with his family for the semester.”
“Oh, you’re the exchange student!” a third boy, this one with icy blue hair and wide, pretty eyes said. “We’ve heard a lot—”
“All of you, be quiet and leave her alone,” Rin said, finally, thankfully speaking up. “Otoya, don’t even look at her, or I’ll make sure you’re benched for the rest of the season.”
The pale-haired boy — Otoya? — held his hands up in the air and whistled innocently, shooting you a wink when Rin turned to address the rest of his team. You raised your eyebrows but suppressed your giggle, not wanting to condemn him to further rebuke from Rin.
“This is Y/N L/N. She’s the exchange student my family is hosting. She wanted to come watch our practice because…actually, I don’t really know why,” Rin said shortly. “But she’s just going to be doing homework on the bench, so if any of you were planning on showing off to impress her, then you can give up on that idea now.”
Otoya noticeably wilted at this, but the others didn’t seem to mind. The first boy, the one with the beauty mark and the strange hairstyle, gave Rin a thumbs up.
“Don’t worry, Rin, we’ll leave the showing off to you. It’s about time you—”
“Shut up!”
They must’ve begun practicing at some point, but you hardly took notice, too busy typing up the outline for an essay you had due in a couple of weeks to care much about what they were doing. Occasionally, someone would shout out a particularly creative insult, and you would have to pause your work to identify the trash talker in order to be able to congratulate them later, but for the most part, you were lost in your own world.
“Hey.” Just the sound of Rin’s cool voice was enough to send shivers of fear down your spine, and you hastily closed your laptop as you looked up at him. “Practice is over.”
“Okay,” you said. “Will you introduce your teammates to me now? I know you told them who I was, but I’d like to at least meet some people my own age.”
“Nope,” he said. “Let’s go.”
“Hold on, I only even came because I wanted to meet them!” you said. “Outside of school, you’re the only one I know. I get that you don’t want me infiltrating your friend group or whatever, but you literally said you don’t like these guys, so why’s it a problem if I become friends with them?”
“They’re so dull and half-baked that your opinion of this country will actually fall if you interact with them further,” he said. “This is just my national pride talking. Come on.”
You stomped after him. What was his problem? He didn’t want to be nice to you, but he also didn’t want anyone else to, either. Was he that determined to make you miserable? Why couldn’t you have been placed in a family with children who weren’t so weird and annoying? Which question had you answered incorrectly on the survey that had resulted in your match-up with the Itoshis? You wished you could retake that stupid quiz and end up somewhere else. You wished that Rin had been the one sent to Spain instead of his older brother, who was certainly more well-adjusted. You wished that you hadn’t chosen to study abroad at all, that you had instead stayed at home with your friends and had a typical first semester like everyone else.
After that day, you stopped even pretending to be polite to Rin. Both of you were cold, hissing insults whenever you passed in the hallways of the home, leaving the room if the other happened to enter, and generally doing what you could to make each other’s lives difficult. It was only in front of Rin’s parents that you maintained some semblance of civility; after all, making Mr. and Mrs. Itoshi choose sides in your silent war would be unethical and wrong.
“I really don’t get it,” you said to your best friend one night, the covers pulled up over your head, your phone screen dimmed so that you were not blinded by its light. “He’s such a jerk, and for what?”
“Boys suck,” she said, hunched over a calculus problem set. The time difference meant that sun streamed in through her window as she wrote, illuminating the shining graphite of her neatly penciled answers. “Did his teammates mention anything suspicious the one time you met them? They’d probably know better than you or I why he’s acting the way he is. Maybe this is just how he is with everyone — if that’s the case, then you can be reassured that it’s not something you’re doing wrong.”
“Not really,” you said. “He forbade all of them from talking to me. Which, by the way, is a real tragedy, because some of them were super cute.”
“Really?” she said.
“Want descriptions?” you said.
“As much as I would like to say yes, I need to focus on this problem set, and anyways, it’ll just make me jealous, so no,” she said.
“Jealous? Let’s trade places, because at the moment, I’m jealous of you. Maybe all of the guys at your school are ugly, but at least you don’t have to deal with Rin!” you said.
“Is Rin attractive?” she said. 
“No — actually, yeah, I can see why a person would think he is,” you said. Personal biases aside, Rin really was very handsome, and that combined with his aloof arrogance afforded him the aura of a YA novel’s male lead. There was no doubt in your mind that he was popular with girls; however, you doubted he himself was aware of this fact. “He’s such a dick that it cancels out, though.”
“Personality is important,” your best friend said. “Oh, fuck!”
“What?” you said.
“I’ve been forgetting to add the integration constant to my answers. Easy fix, no worries. You can keep talking,” she said.
“Thanks,” you said. “There isn’t really much else to say.”
“Well, if you couldn’t get anything out of his teammates, why don’t you try talking to him?” she suggested. “Ask him to his face why he doesn’t like you.”
“Isn’t that kind of uncomfortable?” you said.
“Not like things can get much worse than they already are,” she said.
“True,” you said. “But the thought of confronting him is actually sickening. I’ll pass. This is character building, isn’t it? I’m going to come back home as an entirely new woman. You won’t recognize my mental strength and fortitude.”
“Sure, looking forward to it. I miss you,” she said.
“Miss you more, but it’s pretty late here, so I’m going to have to hang up,” you said, yawning.
“Goodnight, Y/N, and sleep tight. Don’t let Rin Itoshi bite!” she said.
“Oh my god. Go do your homework,” you said, hanging up before she could respond and almost immediately passing out as the moon rose higher and higher in the sky.
Things between you and Rin continued on in that tense manner for the next few weeks, until you became convinced that your heart might give out from the stress. You couldn’t continue to live in this way. You were supposed to be enjoying your time abroad, not counting down the days until you could finally go home.
Rin was watching a horror movie on the computer when you barged into his room. A woman screamed in sync with your entrance, and you jumped at the jarring sound. Rin did not react, clicking on the mouse to pause the film and then turning in his chair to face you.
“What?” he said.
“What? What? What do you think?” you said.
“I wouldn’t have asked if I had the faintest clue why you were storming into my room in the middle of the night,” he said coolly, crossing his arms. “The movie was finally getting exciting, too. So, what do you want? Hurry up and say it.”
Your eye twitched. “I want to know what your problem is.”
“Huh?” he said. 
“Why do you hate me? What have I ever done to you that’s made you so determined to ruin my life? I could even understand if you didn’t want to hang out with me, but you brought me to your practice and then refused to let me talk to just about anyone! What’s the big idea? I just want to enjoy my semester!” you said.
“Oh,” he said. “That’s easy. You’re ruining my soccer career.”
“I’m ruining your soccer career,” you repeated dubiously.
“Yes,” he said.
“Care to elaborate on how I am accomplishing that, exactly?” you said, your hands on your hips. “I went to one practice, and I didn’t even speak the entire time. If your career can be ruined so easily, then it isn’t much of a career in the first place.”
He huffed in aggravation. “I keep thinking about you. It’s messing with my head. I need to focus on soccer and getting better, but for some reason, I can’t stop my thoughts from wandering to places they shouldn’t. It’s worse because I can’t escape you. If I could have just one day to clear my mind, I could forget about you and get back to considering more important things, but you’re always there, worming your way back in.”
Now it was your turn to be confused. “What?”
“I don’t get it, either. You’re not that special, so why can I quit it? Even my teammates have begun to notice. The other day, Isagi told me to go home early because I was ‘bringing nothing to the team.’ Isagi said that! Yoichi Isagi said that I was useless!” he said.
“That would be a lot more impactful if I knew who that was,” you muttered.
“You’re only here for a few more months, right?” he said. “After that, I can get back to my earlier performance and things will return to usual. Just leave me alone until then.”
Confronting Rin had the opposite effect that it should have. Instead of making things better, they actually became worse. What did he mean by saying that you were ruining his soccer career because he couldn’t stop thinking about you? What a stupid excuse! You weren’t that tiresome, so for him to claim that you were taking over his mind because of that was an offense. 
“Y/N, Rin, will you be alright by yourselves for the week?” Mrs. Itoshi said when, once again, you all were gathered to eat dinner. The Itoshi parents had thankfully not yet noticed the enmity between you and their son, so family meals were a regular occurrence — meals in which you and Rin were made to sit by one another and act kindly, lest you make things awkward for Mr. and Mrs. Itoshi, too.
“It’ll be fine,” Rin said, answering for the both of you, the downturn of his mouth daring you to argue. “You guys should have fun in Spain.”
Apparently, Sae had invited his family to visit him in Madrid for the week that he had off from training, but unfortunately for the both of you, Rin was unable to go due to his practice schedule. It was unfortunate for Rin because it meant he couldn’t see his older brother, who he had the world’s most complicated relationship with, and it was unfortunate for you because it meant you couldn’t get a break from Rin’s dramatics.
The week started off normally enough, which meant that you and Rin did not speak, leading your lives with as much separation as was possible. It was actually easier than you were expecting, mainly because Mrs. Itoshi had left you both enough food to last the week, so you could eat when you wanted to instead of having to sit with one another. Gone were the days of turbulent coexistence at meals; now, you could finally enjoy eating without worrying about the boy beside you! You almost wished his parents would never come back, just because of that rare peace.
The fourth night was when it all went wrong. You were video calling your best friend as a storm raged outside, ranting to her about your professors and the heaps of homework you received every day, when the lights flickered.
“Is something wrong with your wifi?” she said. “You’re breaking up.
“It’s raining,” you said. “Pretty hard. The power’s kinda spotty, but I’m hoping it holds—”
The universe must’ve heard your words and decided to play a joke on you, because in that moment, the lights turned off and your call disconnected with a sad beeping sound, alerting you that your poor connection was what did you in. Pouting, you set your phone aside and stared up at the ceiling of the room, deciding you might as well try to fall asleep, given the late hour. Even if the power was out, you wouldn’t be able to tell with your eyes shut, so it was really the best option.
There was a scratching sound on your window, causing you to jolt into a sitting position once more. Rin had watched a horror movie just like this the other day. You remembered it clearly because you had turned on a rom-com once it had finished, and he had called it lukewarm, which made you so mad that you had turned the TV off and gone to take a shower instead.
What had been the plot, again? Oh, right. The power had gone out, and the victim thought that it had been because of a storm, but it had actually been a serial killer taking advantage of the weather to mess with her house’s fuse box. He had done it so that the cameras didn’t catch him as he climbed into her house through her unlocked window and stabbed her in her sleep. The resolution was that her neighbors saw him and called the police right before he killed them, too — yeah, it was a pretty gory film. Lots of blood and knife wounds. You weren’t sure what enjoyment Rin derived from watching it, but you figured it was another one of his irrational attributes that defied explanation.
Another scratching sound. Had you locked the window? What if the power outage wasn’t due to the storm at all? What if Rin had accidentally manifested the same ending for you as that stupid movie? And you were home alone, too, the scenario was just so similar…
This time, the scratching sound was more like an eerie drag of fingernails against the glass, and you couldn’t help yourself. Squealing, you turned the flashlight of your phone on to guide your way as you sprinted out of your room, racing towards the only other inhabited place in the entire lonely house.
“Rin!” you shrieked, convinced that the shadows were actually ghosts come to haunt you and strangle you and bury you alive. “Rin, wake up! We’re both going to die!”
The door to his bedroom banged open, and you pointed your phone at him, the harsh white glow sharpening the angles of his features, the awkward hang of his pajamas off his body, the way his normally neat hair stuck up in every direction. 
“What are you talking about?” he groaned, using his hand to shield his vision from the blinding radiance of your flashlight.
“Do you remember that movie you were watching the other day? The scary one, with the fuse box?” you said.
“Yeah?” he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and yawning. “Point your flashlight at the ground, stupid, or you’ll blind me.”
You did as he directed, belatedly remembering that the two of you very much did not like each other. But beggars could not be choosers, and it remained that at the moment, Rin was your best chance at survival, so you had to stick close to him.
“It’s happening,” you whispered. “It’s literally happening to us right now, as we speak. The serial killer already cut our power, and now he’s trying to break in through my bedroom window, and then — and then he’s going to kill us!”
“I cannot believe you woke me up for this,” he said.
“I’m serious!” you said.
“Seriously dumb,” he said. “Why would somebody try to kill us?”
“Don’t you have any rivals that hate you? Maybe they’re taking advantage of the storm to do you in while they have the chance!” you said, creeping closer to him.
“I play soccer. I’m not in a gang,” he said dryly. “No one’s going to come murder me for being better than them, trust me. Or else I’d already be dead.”
“Go see for yourself, then!” you said. “Wait. But I’ll go with you. People who split up in horror movies always die. There’s real merit to the ‘safety-in-numbers’ theory.”
“How many horror movies have you watched, to make you such an expert on them?” he said.
“You always have them playing, so of course I’ve learnt by osmosis!” you said, inching along behind him as he trudged towards your room. He gave no response bar a click of his tongue as he yanked open the door you had slammed shut in your haste, striding in authoritatively, grabbing your phone and lighting his own way with it instead of relying on your shaky hands.
He pulled the curtains open with a flourish, and you cringed, using his broad back to hide yourself, expecting to see some grotesque face and keeping your eyes screwed shut so you didn’t have to be met with the visage that would spell your death.
“Hey. Y/N. Open your eyes, dumbass. You made me get up because of a damn tree,” Rin said, shaking you by the shoulder. 
“A what?” you said, opening your eyes against your will and then blinking properly when you saw there was nothing there but the boughs of the cherry tree planted in front of Sae’s room. The frenzied wind caused the branches to rub against the window, and this, you realized, was the source of the sound you had been so afraid of. “Oh. A tree.”
“I’m going back to bed,” he informed you. “Wake me up again and you really will be dead, but it’ll be at my hands, not some imaginary serial killer’s.”
You tried. You really tried to stay asleep — you were an independent woman, weren’t you? You had gotten full marks on all of your midterms. You had flown to a different country and learned to live there without much trouble. You had shared a house with Rin Itoshi for the past couple of months, and he was more like a creature out of a nightmare than anything else ever could be. Sleeping alone when the power was out was a piece of cake. You could do it. 
It was not, in fact, a piece of cake, and you could not, in fact, do it. Tip-toeing to Rin’s room, you knocked as lightly as you could, half-hoping that he did not hear. You doubted he had made his earlier threat lightly, after all, and there was a real chance that this action would be your last.
“What now?” Rin said, answering the door a few seconds later. You crossed your arms and stared at the floor obstinately, your pride not allowing you to say anything. He waited for a moment, and then he pinched your upper arm. “Are you sleepwalking? Hello? Wake up if you are, so that I can get to bed myself. I have practice tomorrow, and I need to be well-rested!”
“I’m not sleepwalking!” you said. “I can’t.”
“You can’t sleepwalk? Okay,” he said. “I didn’t really care either way, so there was no need for you to tell me.”
“I can’t sleep at all!” you said. “It’s because of those dumb movies you always watch and those creepy games you play. I keep thinking that something’s going to happen, even though I know that those things aren’t real.”
He narrowed his eyes at you, like he was trying to discern whether you were telling the truth, and then he ran a hand through his hair.
“You have problems,” he said. “They aren’t real, but whatever. Come in.”
“Uh, what?” you said.
“I’ll take the floor, and you can sleep in my bed,” he said, rolling his eyes like you were the ridiculous one for being taken aback by the offer. “That way you can be less nervous.”
It was the kindest thing he had ever done for you, and you almost called him out for it, but then there was another crack of lightning, so you opted not to argue, darting into the room after him and diving into his bed without a second thought.
“Hand me a pillow,” he said, settling on the ground with a blanket he pulled down from the top shelf of his closet. You were about to throw it at him before wavering, considering what he was truly doing for you. Rin Itoshi, who was so careful with his body, who was a pro athlete that required an exact amount of sleep and the perfect balance of nutrients, had woken up in the middle of the night twice and was now offering to sleep on the floor, all because you were afraid of a power outage. 
If only there was electricity! You needed to call your best friend and get her opinion on this. You had avoided telling her the results of your confrontation with him, believing that she would just make fun of you, but for some reason, you thought she might be interested in this development. You thought that she might be the only one who would understand it, because obviously, neither you nor Rin did.
“Um, you can have the bed, if you’d like,” you said, pushing the blankets away reluctantly, your neck protesting at the mere prospect of spending the night on the hardwood. “It’ll be bad for your back if you’re on the floor.”
“It’s not a big deal,” he said. “At least, it won’t be, if you give me that pillow.”
You caved, giving him the pillow and rolling to the opposite side of his bed, which was even larger than the one you were used to. He grunted out a thank you, and then both of you were silent, but it was obvious that neither of you were asleep.
“Rin.”
“Yes?”
“We could share. Your bed is pretty big, so if we put pillows between us, it won’t be weird. Anyways, it’s only until the power comes back, and then I’ll go to my room, so it won’t even be for that long,” you said. The suggestion was met with sputtering from the ground.
“You — me — what — share? No way! No way, terrible idea, why would you suggest that?” he said.
“I just feel bad that you have to be on the floor, that’s all,” you said. “Especially because it’s your room and you’re doing me a favor.”
He didn’t say anything for so long that you were certain he must’ve fallen asleep. “I don’t mind sleeping on the floor for you.”
“Really? I thought you hated me, though,” you said. The bed creaked from an unexpected weight dropping on it, and when you shifted, you saw that he had settled beside you, fluffing up a pillow to serve as a barrier, his face a light pink as he lay on his side to face you. You did the same, peering up at him over the pillow and swallowing when he did not avoid your gaze.
“I do,” he said. “A lot. But I also don’t.”
You furrowed your brow. “I don’t get it.”
“I’ve never been distracted by anyone or anything before,” he said. “That’s why I hate you. I hate things I don’t understand, and I don’t understand why you’re constantly on my mind.”
“Am I that annoying?” you said.
“Yes,” he said flatly. “You’re annoying every time you smile or laugh or say something — say anything, and you’re especially annoying when you act friendly towards my shitty teammates, especially that ninja bastard Otoya. You’re annoying whenever you talk to me, and you’re annoying when you do your homework instead of watching me at the practice you asked to go to. Your lukewarm movies are annoying, and so is your hatred of anything horror-related. It’s annoying that you’re nice to my parents, and it’s even more annoying that you’re better at coming up with insults than I am. You’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met.”
You didn’t need your best friend to translate this for you. Despite what Rin liked to say, you weren’t that stupid — you had been selected to study abroad out of hundreds of applicants, after all, and for the first time, you were so grateful for that fact. Because the thought of somebody else being here, in this bed, hearing these things from rude, haughty Rin Itoshi, was unbearable.
“Do you have a crush on me?” you said. He immediately stiffened, his eyebrows drawing together, low and heavy over his half-lidded eyes.
“No,” he said.
“Sure,” you said. “That’s good, because I’m going to leave soon. It would be problematic if either of us liked one another.”
“Exactly,” he said.
“You’re annoying, too, just to be clear,” you said. “The most annoying guy I’ve ever met in my life. Super annoying.”
“Uh-huh,” he said. 
“I’m telling the truth. Once I go back home, I’ll be incredibly bored. No one back there could ever hope to irritate me even half as much as you do,” you said.
“Good,” he said, and at that you smiled into the softness of his sheets, hiding the expression from him. “They’re not allowed to. You’re the only one who makes me feel like this, so the reverse should also be true.”
“I won’t be able to come here again for a while,” you said after a bit. “Likely years. I’ll be busy with school and work and my friends and family, so it’ll probably be goodbye forever when I go.”
Rin’s voice was sleepy when he spoke, reminding you of the late hour and how early he had to wake up daily.
“Then I can finally focus on soccer again,” he mumbled. “That’s a relief.”
You reached across the pillow to pat him on the cheek. “Yes, you can.”
“After I retire, I’ll come and find you,” he said. 
“That long?” you said. “What if I forget about you by then? Because I might.”
“Don’t,” he commanded. “Wait for me. Let me win the next World Cup, and then…and then…”
 His words trailed off into a soft exhale as he finally succumbed to sleep. You allowed your hand, which still lay against his face, to trace his jawline before retracting it and holding it close to your heart. 
He was definitely still a jerk, but maybe you did not hate him quite as much as you had thought You did. Actually, maybe he wasn’t that bad at all, and maybe you could not imagine what an existence without him, which you had craved so desperately only days earlier, might be like. 
You weren’t sure what would happen if that day he spoke of came, if he did fly across the world to find you after the next World Cup. Would he still be himself, or would he be some gentler version? And what of you? Would Rin Itoshi still be someone you paid any mind to, or, by then, would he just be a not-so-fond memory? The strange boy who may or may not have had a crush on you, who was obsessed with soccer and horror movies, who argued with you constantly and made you more infuriated than you had ever been…well, if you thought about it, then there really was no chance of you forgetting him at all. Not so quickly.
So you sighed, turned away from him and let your own eyes shut as well. The house was dark and still, the familiar hum of the refrigerator silenced, the crushing of the ice-maker temporarily halted. Only Rin’s steady inhales and exhales cut through the blackness, lulling you to sleep despite the atmosphere you had previously found sinister.
“I guess I have no choice, huh?” you said as you, too, drifted off. “Brainless, rude, pesky Rin Itoshi. Fine, then. If that’s how you want it…I’ll wait. Just until the next World Cup, I’ll wait for you.”
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mementoshay · 2 months ago
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I read in a document saying that you are longer going to be involved with anything to do with Hazbin ever again, is that correct? If so, why?
Hello there, I will answer with my own experience.
Keep in mind, however, that the fact that a friend died in the name of this show is already reason enough for me to not want to hear about it again, if only to preserve my own sanity.
For now, the only one who still somewhat engages with the fandom is Eden. I think the reason is that she made many friends along the way in the years she took an active part in the fandom (all the way from before the pilot I think, so many years), and can't quite cut the cord yet.
I, on the other hand, came along after the pilot and belonged to the HuskerDust "side" because of the Instagrams. I'm gonna admit I loved their banter and seeing Angel flirt with him with Husk acting like he didn't care, when he actually did. I found it cute. And also the way Angel blushed in the pilot when Husk was introduced.
I did know about the Hunicasts and about the interactions between Ed Bosco and Michael Kovach (Alastor and Angel's old VAs) on stream, and I found them amusing although not as endearing as the Instagram interactions between Angel and Husk.
I was fully aware though that these streams were the ground upon which the pilot (and fandom) was built, and the "RadioDust" ship carried the whole thing for years before anything was even produced. If you even typed "Hazbin Hotel" or "Alastor" or "Angel Dust", they were the thing that would come up on Google first.
What I liked about it all, however, was the passion and "camaraderie" this whole thing came with. There was passion from the VAs, there was passion from the writers, there was passion from the fans themselves. The fan created so much content it's insane. Every single fan awaited the arrival of the show for so long it was absolutely wonderful to see every character move when the show was announced.
We all believed in this project, it was amazing.
Yet, fast forward to the winter of 2023, my "side" of the fandom became increasingly aggressive. They wrote callout posts, leading to ship and content wars. They expected and almost demanded that the ship would be canon, because of an endless list of clues they collected over the years. And when the ship was confirmed to be 'endgame' the self-entitlement went from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye. It was beyond insane.
Seeing the way my "side" could as much as maul people on other "sides" (may it be RadioDust, ValDust, RadioHusk, NifftyHusk, you name it, as long as there's either Angel or Husk in the equation) already made me grimace a little. When all that happened, I was taken aback.
Then, Shay died. And with all the names involved in the fact (which I won't name) that I really looked up to and followed for years, I felt sick to my stomach. I unfollowed them all and took a break from everything.
All I was hoping for was a show about redemption, with fun shenanigans between a bunch of misfits... instead we got drama after drama, ship war fuel directly from up above, and a dead fan.
I still watched the show when it came out, but I felt utterly disappointed by it. Extremely poor pacing, terrible writing with bits and pieces completely useless to the plot, characters that no longer feel like what they were advertised as (e.g Husk, Alastor or Cherri Bomb) and an overall waste of precious minutes for such a short runtime. I felt a bit betrayed as well, given the amount of time we all waited since we saw these characters on screen.
But worst of it all, the passion that fueled the original plan was completely gone, as well as the camaraderie we lived with for so long. And a friend, who dedicated time, money and passion is now dead for this.
There is to say that every community is made out of people that should be taken individually. I can name plenty that would never ever wish what has occurred to Shay and that still belong to what was my "side" of the fandom. But I can also name plenty that to this day still shout death threats over different ships and opinions.
Things change, of course. For me, they didn't change for the better. And neither did for Shay.
So you'll understand if I don't wish to be involved not hear about Hazbin Hotel (or HuskerDust for that matter) again.
Thanks for your question!
- Liv
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mellowquint · 3 months ago
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Fanbinding Masters of Mayhem - a Ninjago and Lego Monkie kid crossover!!!
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FINALLY after weeks of putting the project on the shelf i finally have the (motivation) free time to complete this amazing bookbind!!! Shoutout to my best friend who came to me and ask if i could bind it. So what better birthday gift than to bind her current favourite crossover story? At the time of this post i have not given the gift to her yet so fingers crossed that she likes this 🤞😖
Thank you FictionForLife_NZ for creating this absolute hilarious masterpiece!! I have been wanting to read an LMK crossover fic for the longest time and low and behold, the ao3 algorithm has answered my prayers lol. Me and best friend really love the character interaction that the Ninja’s have with the LMK crew 😂. Also the shipping!! Best friend absolutely LOVES dragonfruit but was sad that they didn’t have as much of a fandom dedication as opposed to spicynoodles. So imagine her suprised (and scream) that dragonfruit is the main pairing in the story and their many iconic moments together!! Also the climax truly had me at the edge of my seat!! And that ending?? Gosh couldn’t have asked it better myself Ninjago writers really should take notes ✍️!!! Anyways enough rambling here’s the fic if you would like to give a read, absolute 10/10
Flip through
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Some close ups
also yes excuse me and my terrible phone and room lighting it did not do this book justice.
Unfortunately I couldn’t find any fanart that was related/tagged so there was no illustrations for the book. However thats when i had the idea of making the chapter title in the same font as the Ninjago font! To make it seem like every new chapter is an episode!
Also unfortunately couldn’t tag the author since i can’t find their tumblr. If any of you know if said author does have tumblr please let me know!
If you’re all curious on how i make this, i recommend going to the first bookbinding project that i did, its all the same process except with some new improvements that im gonna talk about under the cut
I definitely learned a lot from my mistakes from the last time that i did this, and of course gain new mistakes as well 🥲.
The edges aren’t trimmed
The cover isn’t aligned
The printing for the covers are garbage
Book would not lay flat, instead forever stuck at a weird 120 degree angle
Overall a lot of stuff
This was a given by the fact that i have no experience and was impatient. But since this is a gift for Best Friend ofc this has to actually look good, so here are the improvements that i made
Signature printing— i will admit it took some time and effort but after the old cannon printer finally died permanently jammed, managed to convince parents to buy a more advanced and better printer that can now do double sided printing!! No more wasted signatures from here on out 😮‍💨
Cover printing — not wanting a repeat of the last time that i did it i went to my local Officeworks to get it printed by them. Here i discovered the beauty that is known as ✨Poster Prints✨. Now all of my yellow lines and elements actually do show an pop against the darker background!! Unfortunately this does have a drawback because the prints are sensitive to any type of scratching. Not the scratch and all the colors come off way, more like the scratch it and lines will show up kind of way as you can really see in the front cover :') . Will work on improving this is future projects.
Trimming the edges — originally in book one i trimmed the edges using your typical box cutter and cut it myself. Bad BAD idea i was doomed at that moment. So imagine my surprise the Officeworks ALSO do CUTTING service!!! My jaw dropped and i immediately went back the next day with my text block and asked them if they could trim all edges. After some inspection they put it through the guillotine and all of my edges are perfectly trimmed. Saved me all the time, money, and storage.
Laying book flat — this was definitely the biggest pet peeve that I have with my first book. The way i do it now is i now put a one cm gap between the front cover, side cover and back cover. And also using the right paper (cardstock) to connect the text block with the covers. Now the book can actually fully open!!!
Cover alignment — I printed out the front and back in regular paper and use that as a template on where i wanna fold the prints to find the cover. Worked like a charm
once again shoutout to best friend for giving me the brilliant idea when making the covers!! had it not been for her to point out about clause's book of spells i would have never made the coolest cover page that I've made in my entire binding experience!! all in all im pretty dang proud of myself for being able to improve on my bookbinding skill.
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zgvlt · 2 years ago
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CRUSH x CRASH ruggie bucchi x reader
summary: Ruggie, your fake boyfriend, is your date to yet another wedding.
tags: gender neutral reader, sfw, fluff + attempt at humor, 3.1k+ words, not beta read
author's notes (see end for more): i was in a bit of a writer's slump with some newer stuff i was working on, so i picked an older draft to finish. i'm glad it worked out in the end for me. anyway, if this is something that bothers you, reader does not talk about getting married :) the setting is just a wedding
[you can also read this on AO3]
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Ruggie likes weddings more than most people. Sure, lots of people find them awfully stuffy, terribly expensive, a huge waste of time, but not Ruggie—even if he does think a lot of them are too fancy shmancy for their own good! Like, what’s with the wedding industry being so costly? Does it seriously cost that much money to rent a venue? Why do dresses and tuxes cost an arm and a leg? Are the to-be-weds actually expected to pay for the flights of their guests if they’re coming out of town?
That aside—he’s not planning a wedding so those questions have nothing to do with him!—Ruggie adores weddings, enough to crash them and celebrate with the newlyweds! 
Not that he crashes them, not at all in technical terms, has not really needed to considering you were more than willing to invite him as your plus-one for every event with catering or an all-you-can-eat buffet, all events including weddings! Birthdays and gender reveals were all fine and dandy too, but sometimes those adult party games could get embarrassing, even if they had some snazzy (and usually practical!) prize to be won.
But really, none better than a good wedding.
So sure, maybe tuxedos weren’t exactly his style—he’s worn the same one to pretty much every wedding, but guys tend to get passes on that sort of thing—but it’s really not that bad having to dress up every, what, once or twice a month… and sure, maybe he’s a bit selective with the wedding speeches he actually finds sweet, but he has the decency to clap after each and every one (and even let out a whistle or holler if the atmosphere is casual enough!)
There was also the issue that maybe some of the time that should have been spent chatting up other guests was spent discreetly putting food in the tupperware for him to take home—not like most of them would have finished the food anyway! It would be a waste if it had just gone in the trash!—but he’s the first to ask and lead you to the floor when you seem like you’re in the mood for dancing.
So okay, maybe he doesn’t like every aspect of the arrangement (it’s hard to care about it 100% when most of the attendees are strangers or acquaintances at most) but, well, you were his friend and there was bound to be good food, especially the more extravagant weddings, so attend he shall.
“What color do I have ‘ta wear? Don’t wanna be stared at like I’m the asshole for not following some dumb dress code.”
Like, why the hell would guests have to wear certain colors or prints? Wasn’t it good as long as you didn’t outshine the bride(s) or however the rule went? As if he could even wear something glamorous and bling bling enough for that to happen anyway.
“Sunrise colors, so probably red and orange and yellow… maybe blue as well?” 
Excellent, Ruggie thought, absolutely excellent, considering he actually owned a yellow tie!
No need for renting, no need to borrow one from Leona (again), no need to ask Kalim, who would have probably sent him a bunch of way too expensive ties with exquisite patterns and stitching, and definitely no need to ask some other guy who would probably ask for a favor or something which, no thank you, he’ll just break the dress code and play dumb.
“I’ll go wear yellow, then,” Ruggie announced, just in case you wanted to, well, match or something. Wouldn’t be the first time (and the first time was a complete accident!) so he could probably handle the teasing… probably.
“Ah, one more thing,” he asked, suddenly remembering something—his part of the deal when it came to attending these events with you. “So our, y’know, our usual—do we have to do that there too?”
“Hmm? Do what, Ruggie?” you asked, feigning forgetfulness. 
With how many different occasions he’s accompanied you to over the past year (this would be the seventeenth, and the year was still a few months away from ending), not to mention the amount totaling from all the years he’s known you, he knew that you were very well aware of what he was talking about.
“Y’know…! Pretend that me and you, you know, that we’re… Oi! Can your laughter, you’re at fault here!”
He gave in anyway, only because he still found himself embarrassed whenever it was brought up. It was easier once he was settled in, but the process was still… yeah. 
Honestly, he doesn’t really have much of a (valid, not embarrassing to say) excuse for how and why the whole ordeal still flustered him even after how many years has passed since the arrangement—it just does. 
Well, okay, there’s an actual reason, but best not to speak it into existence in case you find out and make fun of him for that too.
He just has to be satisfied knowing that in some ways, he gets the best of you as well.
“Sorry, sorry!” you said, appeasing him with your laughter, “No, no, there’s no need to pretend we’re dating this time! The groom is pretty chill about the invites, so it’s no big deal if I bring a friend along.”
“Cool, cool,” he replied, not really feeling any smidge of the relief you were expecting him to. He feigned a sigh anyway, just to pretend he did. “‘S not that it’s a big deal if I had to.”
“Of course not,” you agreed, “must be like a second skin at this point, huh?”
He scratched the back of his neck as he laughed.
“Ah, yeah, somethin’ like that!”
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Second skin might have been the right way to describe it, though Ruggie’s beginning to realize that there are problems as well with how natural everything’s become between the two of you. 
This whole fake dating business seemed like all pluses at the start—hanging out with and getting to go to snazzy events with a friend, eating good food, getting all the perks of socializing without having to make too many promises and commitments. Those were all pretty fantastic, really!
The issue is, though, that once you become someone’s fake significant other, you simply can’t stop fake dating them because of the mutual friends and acquaintances you happen to share with the other person. The degrees of separation have decreased significantly since becoming your go-to partner to these things.
“Ruggie! It’s so good to see you!” He gets scooped up into a tight hug—if his personal space is gonna get invaded, can they at least mind the tail?!—by some person he attended the wedding of some months ago. What was their name again…? 
“Yeah, good to see ya too, man!” Well, he can’t say he’s all that upset about seeing a sort of familiar face or two, especially a face of a genuinely generous person, but he’s not sure he has much to say, really. Other than your mutual friends, he mostly lets you or the other people decide what to talk about and he sort of just improvs from there. If he ends up getting asked about work and life and such, he’d end up drawing a blank (too hectic and too little he’d be willing to say to an almost stranger).
“Since you’re here, it probably means you’re still dating my cousin, huh?” 
The person he had been talking to before the interruption—the groom of today’s affair—was momentarily confused, before grinning at the revelation.
“Wait, seriously?”
“Yeah? Did Ruggie not tell you he’s the S.O. of…?”
Basically, people know him as your boyfriend, and he will be introduced as your boyfriend even when neither of you had the intention of pretending that day for the sake of not blowing your cover. 
Like, it’s not as if he’s gonna fake break up with you or anything anytime soon, so spreading the fake news it is!
Really, ain’t he just such a good friend for keeping up the act to the best of his abilities? Not that it was all that hard or nothing, it’s kind of just like lighting a match—after a few flicks, it’s already registered in his brain that he’s supposed to be your date. 
“I thought the two of you were just friends?” The groom wiggled his eyebrows in the way annoying adults tended to when they felt like teasing the children in the village about their crushes. 
Except Ruggie was already a few years past drinking age so he doesn’t really feel like playing into that game, even if the guy’s your friend. He’ll just answer quickly and move on (back to you, and maybe the buffet table as well).
“Shishishi… It’s an inside joke we love to tell people,” he explains, a well-practiced excuse at this point. “Started out because people kept telling us we’d make a pretty good couple not knowing we were already dating, so we kinda just committed to the bit!”
Yeah right! The irony of it all, if that was the right category it fell into.
“So this has been going on for a while then, huh!”
“Yeah, something like four years, one month, and eight days,” of fake dating, Ruggie said nonchalantly, like it was no big deal that he’s been keeping himself single for all that time so he can continue to fake date you. He’s just never felt the compulsion to stop, and clearly you haven’t either considering you’ve been single all that time as well!
“You can’t just say something like then get the exact numbers down to a T, puppy.”
Likely wondering what was taking him so long to return to your side, you decided to finally grace him with your presence, wrapping an arm around his waist. He pretends it happens frequently enough to the point that he’s not flustered about it.
“Means ya have it memorized too, kitty,” he replies, deflecting. “Not that big a deal. Also, hyenas aren’t even part of the dog family, y’know!”
“Okay okay, whatever you say!” you laugh, nudging the groom with your free arm. “Sorry I lied to you about him being my boy space friend and not my boyfriend. I saw an opportunity to lie and I took it!”
“You know what? I’m not even surprised,” the man says, shaking his head before turning to the hyena once more. “So, Ruggie, since the two of you have been together for several years now, do the two of you plan on getting married any time soon, too?”
Questions like that are meant to be heavy hitting, meant to be discussed for more than just a few minutes, but Ruggie manages to answer it swiftly. 
Again, not the first time he’s been asked, but his answer has never really changed from all those years ago.
“Only if my partner wants to,” he replies. He grabs the hand you have wrapped around him, pushing it down so he can clasp onto your fingers properly, like a dutiful boyfriend would. “I’d be happy as long as we have a future together.”
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Considerate. That was how Ruggie was known to… pretty much everyone you had introduced him to that didn’t know the truth. He was a considerate boyfriend, one who never spoiled or babied you too much, but one always eager to help or guide you with whatever it was you needed.
You saw him as considerate too, you let him know, a considerate friend. It was why you approached him with this whole fake dating shenanigans in the first place, and why you continued to rely on him over and over again.
“I just don’t know what I’d do with you, really,” you bemoaned, “you’re seriously the best, you know that?”
“Shishishi… if you wanted me to comfort you, you could just ask,” Ruggie replied with a grin, more receptive to the compliment than he wanted to let on. “Whether you want to cry at their speeches and use my tie as a tissue, or ask me to refill your plate with something in particular, I’ll do it.”
You smiled, your appreciation extending from your lips to the tips of your fingers, reaching out to comb through his hair gently. 
“Your tie’s too nice for that,” you admitted, your fingers trailing down to his neck to caress the fabric. He might have misheard, but he thought he heard someone murmur about public display of affection… as if a wedding didn’t scream P.D.A. already. Regardless, he lowers his eyes to watch the movement of your hands, only a little bit mesmerized by how gently you treat him at times like these. He’s used to you not being afraid to fool around with him, which is nice, but… but this is nice, too.
Yikes, you’d think you were cupping his face or something by the way he reacted—it was just his tie, for sevens’ sake!
“I’ve always liked how you looked in yellow,” you said, and he could do nothing but melt. That’s all he can do, considering if he tried to speak he would probably whimper and purr and let you have your way with his heart… But you look like you want him to say something, so he should try to do that. It can’t be that bad! He just has to clear his throat and make sure he actually vomits out words instead of feelings.
You can praise me more! was what he wanted to say. Instead, he said,
“Ahh, ya look very charming too in…!” It’s a good enough start, but he trailed off when he realized he couldn’t really pinpoint just one thing he liked. What, was he gonna say you looked good in yellow too? You said it first! He’d just be repeating at that point! “Agh, you’re just cute…! You don’t have to laugh at me for that!”
“I’m not making fun of you!” you explained quickly—not that you needed to, he knew you weren’t, and the clarification didn’t make his cheeks cool in the least bit. It’s like the heat of his hometown all over again! “You’re acting like you wouldn’t tease me for the very same thing!”
“Who, me? Your Ruggie? Never!” he said, lying as easily as he breathed. “So go on, might as well ask me for a few more things while I’m in the mood to be all sweet with ya~”
“Well… what if I want to ask you to dance?”
He laughed, as he tended to in many situations, but he laughed then because he knew his leading you to the dance floor would be inevitable—it was just a matter of time. When you laugh with him, he knows it’s because you knew the very same.
“You know my rhythm ain’t that good, especially when the music is…” He paused to listen to the music, having been too invested in you to pay attention to the tunes. “...classical? Like, piano and violin instrumental and all.”
“Then I’ll let you step on my feet—once!” 
“You’re only sayin’ that because ya know I won’t,” Ruggie said, grinning, “well, not on purpose anyway! Shishishi…”
They’ve danced this dance before… not literally, or maybe literally, many wedding playlists and bands repeat the same songs anyway, but the whole let’s dance and pretend we’re an engaging and fun couple kind of dance specifically. He’s not really sure why they continue doing so, most people only really care about who the newlyweds dance with, but once they’ve started they never really had it in them to stop. 
At least, that was how he felt about it.
“‘Times it feels like the first time,” Ruggie said, hands gesturing vaguely in the air before they take their place next to yours. You interlock your fingers with his in response. “This whole thing. The date and dance thing.”
“Awkward?”
“S’ not the right word,” he replied, “I always feel comfy around you.”
“Exciting?”
“Fun,” he supplied, “somehow this has never gotten boring even after four years–”
“–and one month, and eight days,” you were already smiling the whole time (he would know—when he wasn’t staring at his feet to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally hurt you, he’s been staring at your face shamelessly), but your eyes crinkle a little bit more. He thinks you might’ve stolen his abilities because he mirrors your very movements. “Or is that nine days counting today?”
“Nah, I already counted today as the eight.”
The look you have on your face resembled approval, as if you were praising him for remembering so well. 
“We’ve never celebrated an anniversary, have we?” you whispered, as though too embarrassed to let anyone else hear. Ruggie doubted anyone would, too preoccupied with themselves and everyone else to pay attention to a couple of guests dancing, but he leans into you anyway to hear you better.
(He doesn’t need it, he can hear you fine and dandy with the ears he has, but neither of you comment on the action.)
“Is there somewhere you wanna go? Or do?” he asked, genuinely interested in what your idea of an ideal celebratory date would be. For future reference.
“Your hometown would be nice.” The answer very nearly has him yelping, but he managed to restrain himself by squeezing your hands a little tighter. His eyes look around wildly before gawking at you. You know what his hometown is like, but more than that, you know what that place means to him, the people there that he looks out for whenever he can.
“You’re sounding very much like a real partner right now,” Ruggie said, awed at the unspoken revelation, “makes me wonder why we put that fake label in the first place if we were just gonna reserve ourselves for each other.”
“Because we’re fools,” you replied, glad to be on the same page as him, “and we’ve just been acting as the other does all this time without stepping out of line.”
“Was there even a line in the first place?” The both of you shared a laugh. 
“So, what do you think? About that hometown date?”
You probably know exactly what he thinks about it. You’ve always had a way with his heartstrings and he’s done nothing to stop you from doing so, so you know his entire being feels very warm and bubbly just about now, has been the entire time he’s had you by his side, really.
“Help me sneak some sweets out later,” Ruggie murmured quietly, “in the tupperware. The brats back home will love it.”
“One step ahead of you,” you muttered back, a voice with barely contained mischief, “while you were busy chatting up the groom, I already snuck some food out to the car.”
“What the hell,” he breathed out, “I think I might have fallen in love with ya all over again.”
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end notes | masterlist of all my works
[ 1 ] Title's stylization was inspired by TOMORROW x TOGETHER, the kpop group. There's no actual inspiration from TXT, though. I just like it.
[ 2 ] Ruggie and Reader have been to seventeen events that year because Ruggie is 17 (in TWST canon, he's older in the fic), and they've "fake" dated for four years, one month, and eight days because Ruggie's bday is 4/18. I just like choosing numbers with purpose or as references is all. Reader only questions if it's been 18 or 19 days and doesn't question the other parts because they're also counting. They're whipped, amen.
[ 3 ] When writing Ruggie, I was careful in how I portrayed him and his attitude towards food and money, mostly I didn't want that becoming his personality. Big-scale weddings are often quite expensive and wasteful, and while Ruggie has his insights about that based on his background, but he also knows that people do derive joy from that and he can appreciate it (basically, he's not hateful even though he can't relate). Not the main point of the fic, but putting Ruggie in that setting I felt like I had to describe his feelings regarding it a bit.
[ 4 ] I made reader call Ruggie "puppy", then I wondered if he should actually be "kitty" instead. I had to search whether hyenas were part of the cat or dog family, only to find out they belong to their own family! Kept puppy in anyw.
[ 5 ] I asked some followers what nickname Ruggie would call his s/o and kitten came up. Makes sense, he says it in a voice line… but for the life of me I cannot type it out because of how the nickname became tainted due to "discord kittens" arghh it felt too silly… I'll commit to it next time when the context is better!
[ 6 ] ( “Because we’re fools,” you replied, [...], “and we’ve just been acting as the other does[…]” ) This is referencing Ruggie's UM/SS literal translation, "March of fools". Though in this case, I suppose it's a dance of fools, huh!
[ 7 ] As mentioned, this was something short to help get me out of my writing slump. This has been in my drafts since June and the original "june wedding prompt" fic I meant to write before I scrapped it for the jade wedding fic instead. I decided to finally write it since, compared to before where I only really enjoyed writing longer one-shots (around 5k-15k words), I've gotten more comfortable writing shorter one-shots :>
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WIBTA for telling my cousin the truth about his mom?
So I (26F) am the legal guardian of my younger cousin (15M) (Adam) and he’s lived with me and my husband for over a year now. His mom (44F) (I’ll call her Mary) has been absolutely terrible to me on multiple occasions and has done nothing to attempt to help with this care since she’s abandoned him at my house. Even though she was getting food stamps for him and selling them up until the beginning of this year when a fraud investigator called me to ask if she’s been using the money for him at all. To me, that’s literally stealing food from your own kid.
She’s told me that she’s used meth, that his dad has also used meth/heroin. She likes to play the victim about how she “lost her son”. She didn’t even show up to court for him. I basically held her hand through the whole process to try and make it easier for her but every single time she could have done anything for him, she chose not to. She doesn’t even try.
Adam believes his mom loves him (and I think she does, she just doesn’t necessarily care about him as a person and more like a thing she can have) and I’ve basically refused to talk about her when he’s around bc I don’t want to make him hate his mom. But I feel like he should know what kind of person she is? I don’t want him to waste his energy worrying about her when she does not and will not do the same for him, and it’s supposed to be the other way around.
I’ve also thought maybe I should just wait until he’s an adult and if he asks then tell him. I just know if it was me, at that age, if I knew all this I’d literally cut her off entirely and idk if I want that to happen either, but it’s also not necessarily my call to make if he doesn’t want to see her anymore after having all the information.
What are these acronyms?
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duckduckhjonk · 1 year ago
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Part 1 of analyzing every total drama character.
hi ho! i’m going to do this in elimination order for each season/character. So obviously part 1 has gotta be Ezekiel. I have very much Opinions ™️  on him.
Before we begin i would like to say that i am in no way a professional in anything I’m doing, this is just for fun and to get a better grip on characters from my favourite show.
Zeke from the get go is an absolute loser. He’s homeschooled and doesn’t understand many social cues/norms. He’s dirty and mostly antisocial. Even Chris tells him not to say much and to try not to be first off the island.
Overall review of his time on the show:
I think the biggest part that he does in island is that he says a very sexist remark, claiming that men are better than women. He quickly learns his lesson, then eliminated because of it. During the special, TDDDDI, Zeke teams up with Lindsay and Beth, with the only terms of “treating them with respect”. I feel this heavily implies that during the time at Playa Des Loser, Zeke is trying to actively better himself from his old views on gender, as he happily accepts the two girls’ terms of teaming up. He also tries helping them during this time, pointing out the case that is tied to the tree. Although he is quickly silenced and ignored by the two girls chatter. Which costed them to be the first to the prize.
Ultimately, Zeke is not in Action and doesn't do much for the aftermaths either, but during his time in Playa Des Losers, he takes on a gangster-esque persona in an attempt to be seen as cool. It does not work well, as he is never seen as cool. I have nothing much to say with Action, so lets just move along.
World Tour is where things get very interesting for him. He dropped the gangster persona and became super determined to win, claiming he’s been training. Unfortunately, he is eliminated first again, twice. His determination drives him to stay on the jet, hanging onto the wings and landing gear of it in order to live in the cargo hold. This is where he begins to lose his humanity. He begins to act more like the rodents that live in the plane, and even begins to turn a sick green colour and lose his hair and also his hat. I dont know how he lost his hat, i think he should have kept it. Chris tries to take advantage of his determination to win and hires a still vaguely human Zeke to play the ripper. After that, he finally goes full feral. He’s a full on animal by now and Chris once again uses that to his advantage in the Serengeti episode, when he is used to be hunted for sport. In the finale, Zeke’s determination makes him attack Chris or Heather depending on the version for the million where he is thrown into the volcano but quickly launched back out.
During Revenge of the Island, Zeke lives in the mines with a bunch of mutated creatures, acting as their king. During A Mine is a Terrible Thing to Waste, Zeke finds Anne Maria and begins giving her a bunch of treats in order to impress her. He gives her the burnt prize money and a diamond he doesn't know is fake. I find this glimpse of Zeke still being human to be a nice breath of fresh air for him, which is gone soon after as he tries to attack Lightning on sight. During the finale of Revenge of the Island he also tries to protect Anne Maria from the weird squirrel in hopes of getting a kiss from her.
In All Stars, he is originally brought back as a joke to scare the contestants before being launched away again. During this season, Zeke has enough of Chris using him as a punching bag and kidnaps him, holding him above a vat of toxic waste using only a thin rope that rats are eating away at. While he is hanging, Chris actively taunts Zeke, causing him to go into a fit of rage. Though the contestants save Chris and defeat Zeke before Chris falls into the vat. Lucky for him, Zeke gets a happy-ish ending where he is accepted by the rest of the mutants on the island.
My personal thoughts/headcanons about him:
I have reason to suspect Zeke has some form of neurodivergency that probably went undiagnosed due to his parents being of a much more “traditional” mindset and refusing to give him mental help.
Equally so, i have every right to suspect that Zeke’s parents are neglectful. Did they never do anything legally to the producers or Chris for making him into a wretched beast. Did they never think to sue the show? The show’s situation caused him to never be normal again.
I also think that Zeke orignally was trying to act like his father in Island, i dont know the exact reason but maybe within the farmer community they live in his father was considered cool? i’m unsure but i think thats why he tried to act like him. Once that failed he would try to act like a gangster because maybe he saw they were perceived as cool.
Zeke just wants to be seen as cool by people, i think its sad he never got that, I mean he was sexist so ig thats why.
also please note that Duncan has said far more sexist things than Ezekiel ever has
Overall, Ezekiel is an amusing character that i find super interesting. Albeit he’s more interesting in a feral form but that doesn’t make his human form not interesting. I wouldn’t say he’s quite top 10 favourite character, but i do enjoy him.
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lunar-years · 5 months ago
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Argh it makes me so mad, that could have been the perfect time to finally save the waste of time plot of the pr business, I have no idea what the writers were thinking, did they really think they were doing something good by devoting a huge chunk of screen time of the football show with all of their fave characters to just one of the characters on her own failing to do the thing she is good at. It could have been the moment for Keeley to finally show her PR talent we know she had, to make some big meaningful post online about body autonomy and respect, to decide by herself to go for it without Jack and her money. Instead no, she tells a few people she isn't ashamed (great, as she shouldn't be, That at least is the Keeley we love) then does nothing until one person in her life apologises and doesn't act like it was her fault. Then she continues to do nothing and gets dumped by Jack. It could have finally made that whole plot line have a point, but no!
I know very little about Keeley Hazell but since people say she has a similar background to Keeley-the-character and was one of the inspirations for Keeley, it boggles my mind that SHE wrote that episode. Like...what? 😭
anyway yeah it's definitely one of the episodes I most had a problem with in s3. The only two things I really like about it is that it absolutely did showcase Juno's acting chops (the weight of her emotions are SO visceral in that episode and that's all thanks to Juno, she did amazingly with material that, let's face it, was pretty shit) as well as Jamie showing up for her + the JamieKeeley hug. But even both of those pros could have been SO much more impactful if they'd written the episode better.
Then there's the stuff I didn't mind in itself because it was in-character bad (or in Jamie's case, misguided) behavior in an intentional way (imo) which is the comment from Roy, Jamie apologizing for something that very much wasn't his fault, and Jack being a jackass. However, I came to mind them later because:
Roy needed to name that mistake in his big apology letter to Keeley or else it doesn't work. Why the fuck did they have him say it then. Ughhhh. It's so shitty that they never have him state WHAT the hell he's apologizing for, not even just about this but about everything to do with the breakup (i mean, if we want to talk about accountability....)
Meanwhile Jamie getting his wires crossed about accountability in that way makes sense for him as a character, and I also do not necessarily think it's Keeley's job to reassure and comfort him there, and I further understand why she wasn't in the right state to do so, anyway. But there should have been some follow-up afterwards where it's made clear it WASN'T JAMIE'S FAULT!! i can't begin to tell you how much I loathe that the prevailing narrative online the next day was "🥺awww Jamie's finally taking responsibility for his actions and finding accountability!!🥺" gross. Jamie was a victim of the leak, too.
i have the minority opinion of not really minding that they made Jack a rich entitled bitch who cares more about her own optics than she does Keeley. 🤷‍♀️ But it was admittedly really hard to watch Keeley beg Jack to take her back an episode later. And the fuck of it all is that i don't even necessarily think that is out of character for Keeley (she's clearly in very bad shape mentally at that point), but the fact that her headspace is never made explicit or explored in any meaningful way...atrocious! what's the point of putting her into these situations if we don't even get a deep dive into her head about it. ugh.
And then there's the stuff that was just straight up stupid and or horrible to watch, like Keeley being bad at her job for some reason and that truly terrible rebecca keeley scene and the even more terrible after school special locker room psa where the players delete every photo they've ever put on their phones 🙄
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qqueenofhades · 2 years ago
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do you have advice for having terrible professors? one of mine is a fantastic lecturer but her assignments have absolutely zero instruction and shes still the harshest grader ive ever had. i just got a ridiculously condescending email about me "making it harder for myself" by not looking at feedback that she never even gave me in the first place and im so close to ripping my hair out
Welp. That sucks. And yet again, this professor is not doing her job in being there to HELP you learn, and instead is showing off how smart she feels that she already is and acting like teaching you (you know, her actual job) is a waste of time. My sympathies.
Anyway, it's hard to deal with this kind of situation, but here are a few ideas:
Make a study group with some of your peers, and help each other review assignments/written work. Obviously, the professor should be doing this more, but since she's not, you have to work with each other. If you're having problems with her, chances are that other students are as well. If you get together and talk through the material and raise issues, there's often a way to understand it better and put it into practice, despite the lack of support.
If your professor is a terrible emailer but a great lecturer -- is it possible that you could get through to her better if you went to her office hours? Every professor is required to have them, so if you made an appointment and went to speak with her face to face, it might be more effective and useful than emails. Make a list of what you want to talk about and be polite, clear, and firm. It might feel intimidating, but she's there to help YOU, and you're the stakeholder paying tuition money to get an education which she is partly responsible for providing. You have the right to raise concerns if it's just not working.
Do you have a faculty advisor/department mentor/assigned head of undergraduate students (I'm assuming you're an undergrad, correct me if otherwise) at your university, who might be able to take on the role of talking to her privately? You can shoot them an email like "I'm having some trouble with Professor X, do you mind talking to her about Y?" and it's their job to follow up on that, if you feel like it's not your place to do it. If she reacts badly to constructive criticism from her own supervisor, that's a her problem, not a you problem.
If all else fails, you'll usually get a course evaluation at the end of the semester, and you can be honest about the fact that you experienced some problems with her teaching and feedback style. It doesn't have to be (and indeed, shouldn't be) gratuitously mean and nasty, but it's a way for you to put on the record that you had issues, especially if you need to dispute a grade later. (You do have the right to do that!)
Good luck!
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tzaharasykes · 1 year ago
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“there are always problems in the J/K relationship, but that's a rant for another time”
Can today be the day that rant comes? I feel like talking to you today!
Where do I even begin?
There's really no denying how comical Jackie and Kelso are together. Their dynamic felt funny and realistic for two popular/good-looking teenagers in high school, and only high school. You know they would never make it past that, and that's the way it should have been. Because the longer they stay together, the more they keep going in circles.
Again and again it's the same thing. They gush at how hot they are, how great they look together, how much they "love" each other. He is an unfaithful lecher. She demands he be something he isn't and will never be, the type of girl to try and change a shitty man. He is an immature man-child and remains that way for the entirety of the series (being a father changed absolutely nothing, even though it should have, it didn't). With him, she is insecure, incredibly bossy, rude, and looks down on him. She wants him to be a man, desperate to make him her ideal man, but he just isn't. But he is beautiful, and she can't let go of that. This was one of her (stupidest) dilemmas when trying to choose between him and Hyde. She tells Donna, "Michael is so beautiful. And you spend a lot more time looking at someone than you do talking to them." My god.
So they fight, break up, fall back in "love", then break up. Rinse and repeat. The poor excuse of a spin-off tells us that this has not changed. Jackie is essentially a woman-child the same as how Kelso remains a man-child. It is all superficial and terrible, something the spin-off refuses to acknowledge because of reasons that don't at all matter to canon. They are the same miserable people they were decades ago.
Kelso "loves" Jackie so much that his eyes never stop roaming around other women. He begins his "love" by flirting with and kissing Pam Macy behind the gym. He is deeply sorry only once he is caught. He continues his "love" for her by having sex with Eric's sister, then eventually having sex with seemingly every woman in Point Place who happens to blink his way. He does this while he is with Jackie and while he is trying to "win" her back from Hyde. He "loves" her by betraying her trust constantly and throwing a hissy fit when she's finally had enough of it. He whines when she moves on, even though he runs off like a coward to sleep with all of California. He gives Hyde a hard time over a hurt ego, even though he has never been a respectable boyfriend to Jackie.
Meanwhile, Jackie for the first half of the original show wants to believe that he can change. He's got the looks, and the charm, and if he is able to land a good job and support her, she believes they will be set for life. She pictures a future with him that is only a fantasy. When they are apart, she idealizes him. But once she is within his vicinity again, reality hits. In this relationship, she constantly comes off as vain, annoyed, and unsupportive, especially when he began his modeling job, something she felt entitled to. She also seems to care more about her money and status than she ever did about him as a person. She doesn't respect him and dismisses his feelings. He once tries to communicate this to her, but she tells him it is the stupidest thing she's ever heard. He is a fool, yes, but the way she shot that back like it was a joke would hurt anyone. She cares more about herself than she does for Kelso. With Kelso, only what she wants matters.
It is a relationship that is doomed to either fail or be miserable forever. After over a decade since the show ended, the writers decided on the latter, erased any and all character development (primarily Jackie's, which they've already destroyed once with season 8), and attempted to glue the pieces of waste together to resemble whatever the characters once were, essentially reviving something that should have stayed buried in the landfill.
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depressedhouseplant · 1 year ago
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🔞 Cops & Robbers (Bbangju) 🔞
Chapter 2
WC: 2600
Tags: Graphic depiction of injury, “Off screen” murder, No smut, I’m sorry Chanhee stans
A/N: Literally one person requested to see what came next so here you go @minsflannelwrap148
“Where have you been? I resorted to calling you after you didn’t answer my texts. You know how I feel about talking on the phone,” Chanhee demanded when Younghoon walked into the office the next morning. Younghoon checked his phone. It was still on silent.
“Oh, I had it on silent and forgot to turn it off,” Younghoon replied, seeing 12 texts and 2 missed calls. It wasn’t a total lie. He had it on silent at work, but kept it that way when he got to the club.
“I’m gonna set a timer on it or something. Anyway, here’s the file you asked for,” Chanhee handed him an envelope.
“Thanks,” Younghoon opened it and pulled out the pictures. They were of Juyeon out with two of his men. Younghoon already knew there wouldn’t be anything useful. Juyeon knew they were following him and was too smart to do anything illegal when he knew they were around.
“Not what you were hoping for?” Chanhee asked.
“Exactly what I expected. We should probably call off the surveillance. At this point we’re just wasting time and money,” Younghoon sighed, putting the photos back in the envelope.
“How do you expect to catch him then?” his assistant raised an eyebrow.
“At this point? He’ll only get caught if he wants to be caught,” Younghoon shrugged. Chanhee studied him for a moment. “What?”
“What’s that on your neck?” he pointed. Younghoon opened his phone’s back camera. There was a hickey about the size of a quarter on the left side of his neck. He’d been in such a hurry to put on clean clothes and not be too late to work that he hadn’t looked that hard in the mirror.
“Shit,” he huffed.
“Did you get laid last night? And that’s why you had your phone off?” Chanhee stared.
“Okay, yes. I met someone after work and we hooked up,” it wasn’t a lie even though it felt like one. He had met Juyeon after hours. He should’ve told him no marks. At the same time, he knew Juyeon wouldn’t have listened.
“Tell me everything,” Chanhee sat in the chair next to Younghoon’s desk and propped his chin on his hand.
“Absolutely not. My sex life is none of your business,” Younghoon screeched.
“Why? Was he ugly? Was his stroke game terrible?” Chanhee questioned.
“What? No, he was not ugly and his ‘stroke game’,” Younghoon used air quotes “was fine.”
“Just fine? Are your standards that low?” the blonde gave him a judgy look. Sleeping with Juyeon was not one of his better life choices, but the other man was handsome, intelligent, and witty. Under any other circumstance, he was the ideal.
“You’ve worked here too long. You’re interrogating me,” Younghoon huffed.
“One day I’ll get you to tell me everything,” Chanhee grinned and went back to his desk. Younghoon snorted. He had no intention of ever telling anyone what happened. Then his phone beeped with a text.
Juyeon: Missed you this morning. Here’s the list of names I have.
[Attachment]
Younghoon: Thanks
Juyeon: Not gonna say you missed me too?
Younghoon: No
There was a long pause.
Juyeon: You will 😘
Younghoon: Someone in your position shouldn’t be using kissy face emojis
Juyeon: 😘😘😘
Younghoon: I hate you
Juyeon: I hate you too. Now run down those names. I’ve got crime to commit
Younghoon rolled his eyes. Of course Juyeon would figure out a way to flirt while getting Younghoon to do what amounted to a personal favor. Younghoon opened up the attachment and started entering the names into the database.
“You ready to go?” Chanhee’s voice jerked Younghoon back to the present.
“Huh?” he looked away from his screen.
“It’s 5:30 and you owe me dinner,” Chanhee pointed to his watch.
“Since when do I owe you dinner?” Younghoon rubbed his eyes.
“Since I bought lunch yesterday or did the dicking you got last night cause amnesia?” his assistant teased.
“Shut up,” Younghoon swatted at him. The petite blond laughed. “I’ll meet you outside.”
“No, I am waiting right here so you don’t ditch me,” Chanhee crossed his arms.
“Fine,” Younghoon rolled his eyes. He saved all the information he’d found and shut off his computer. He could give Juyeon the information tomorrow. Not that he’d found much. He’d text him when he got home with the update. “Ready.”
“Excellent. I want pizza,” Chanhee said as they walked to the elevator.
“You always want pizza,” Younghoon shook his head as he hit the button. Everyone else had left for the day. Their office was where all the 9-5 types worked. Which is why the elevator coming from an upper floor was a red flag.
“Who went upstairs?” Chanhee asked when he saw the numbers going down instead of up.
“Maybe the cleaning crew started on the top floor today?” Younghoon suggested.
“They use the service elevators,” Chanhee replied. Younghoon’s gut was telling him something was wrong. Something was very wrong.
“We’re taking the stairs,” Younghoon grabbed Chanhee’s arm and pulled him toward the stairwell. He closed the door right as the elevator opened.
“What are you doing?” Chanhee hissed.
“Run,” Younghoon hissed back.
“What? Why?”
Then the stairwell door opened to reveal two men in ski masks with guns strapped to their hips.
“That’s why,” Younghoon said. Chanhee was frozen in place. Younghoon almost pulled him down the stairs as they started running. They made it to the ground floor only for Younghoon to slam into a very solid body. Chanhee crashed into Younghoon pushing the man backwards.
“Got ‘em,” he said into a headset. The other two men came out of the stairwell seconds later, guns drawn. Younghoon put Chanhee behind him and held up his hands.
“Whatever you want, he has nothing to do with it,” Younghoon said.
“You don’t know that,” the biggest one replied.
“If this is about the search I ran today, then he doesn’t know anything. You can take me, but let him go,” Younghoon explained.
“It’s about more than just a simple search,” one of the two with the guns said.
“Whatever it is, leave him out of it,” Younghoon stood his ground.
“Then what? He runs to tell your bosses? I don’t think so,” the biggest one snorted.
“I won’t do that. I swear,” Chanhee said. Younghoon could feel him shaking.
“Sorry, can’t trust a cop,” the third one said.
“He’s not a cop. I am,” Younghoon corrected. He’d slowly started backing them toward the door. One of them realized what Younghoon was doing and stepped behind them. Now they were surrounded with two guns pointing at them and a guy who was easily 50% bigger than Younghoon.
“I’m done talking,” one of the gunmen said, taking the butt of his gun and hitting Chanhee with it.
“Stop it! I said let him go!” Younghoon crouched down on the floor covering Chanhee. His forehead was bleeding from the blow.
“No,” the biggest one hauled Younghoon up and wrapped his arm around his neck. The last thing he saw before he passed out was two guns pointed at Chanhee’s head.
It was almost 1am when Juyeon heard the doorbell. All of his men had the door code and no one else knew where this house was. There was no reason someone should be at the door. He checked the security camera. He’d know that body anywhere.
“Younghoon?” Juyeon stared at the battered man on his doorstep.
“I didn’t know where else to go,” he gasped then fell forward. Juyeon barely caught him.
“Okay, okay, I’ve got you,” he soothed as he helped Younghoon over to the couch. “Let me see.”
“They killed him. They killed Chanhee,” Younghoon couldn’t catch his breath. He was clutching his right side. The side with the scar. Juyeon carefully moved Younghoon’s hand to reveal a blood stain on his shirt.
“Let me look at you and then you can tell me what happened. Okay?” Juyeon asked. Younghoon nodded. “This might sting a little.” The blood had glued the shirt to Younghoon’s skin. Juyeon had to tug a little to loosen it. Younghoon hissed.
“I know it hurts. I’ll be as fast as possible,” Juyeon told him. There was a large gash on his side like someone had sliced at the skin, but Younghoon moved at the last second. Bruises were blooming all over his torso. He had a black eye and possibly a broken nose. “Are you dizzy? Feeling nauseous?”
“No,” Younghoon whispered.
“Then you probably don’t have a concussion,” Juyeon noted. “Any pain in your side other than the cut?”
“Hard to breathe,” the other man told him.
“Shit,” Juyeon raked his hand through his hair.
“What?” Younghoon finally met his eyes.
“You could have a cracked rib. I’m gonna call Kevin. If nothing else he can stitch up your side,” Juyeon told him.
“Who?” Younghoon asked.
“My doctor,” Juyeon explained. Younghoon stared at him. “What? You think I go to the hospital when you beat the shit out of me?”
“I’ve never…” Younghoon began.
“I know, I know. You go easy on me,” Juyeon kissed Younghoon’s forehead. He grabbed the encrypted phone and texted the doctor. Even if Kevin was at work, which he shouldn’t be, Juyeon knew he’d drop everything. Juyeon made sure he paid better than any hospital ever would.
“He’s on his way,” Juyeon said.
“Chanhee. They killed him,” Younghoon’s eyes welled up. Juyeon remembered the pixie-esque blonde. He seemed very loyal to the other man, albeit a little snarky.
“Who’s they?” Juyeon asked.
“I don’t know for sure. I ran a search of the names you gave me. Eight hours later three of them took us,” Younghoon shook his head and winced immediately.
“Easy,” Juyeon reached up and cupped Younghoon’s cheek. His hand covered almost half of the other man’s face. The other gang had done this. Juyeon knew they were willing to resort to violence, but murdering an innocent bystander was worse than he’d thought. “It’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay.”
“I’m here!” Kevin called.
“Living room!” Juyeon yelled back. Kevin stopped in his tracks when he walked in the room. It was then Juyeon realized he was kneeling in front of Younghoon with his hand on his cheek. Like he was someone Juyeon cared about.
“This is unexpected. I thought you needed me to patch up Hyunjae or Changmin,” he said.
“Surprise?” Juyeon ventured.
“Can you walk?” Kevin turned his attention to Younghoon.
“Yeah,” Younghoon wheezed.
“But you shouldn’t. You’ve lost a decent amount of blood and you’re having trouble breathing,” Juyeon cut in. He picked the other man up and held him like a sleepy toddler in their parent’s arms.
“Downstairs,” Kevin said. Juyeon didn’t miss the look the doctor gave him as he carried his supposed nemesis to the basement. Younghoon might have been Juyeon’s opposite, but he was also his mirror.
“Tired,” he mumbled. Younghoon rested his unbruised cheek on Juyeon’s shoulder.
“You can’t go to sleep quite yet. Doctor’s orders,” Kevin told him. Younghoon whimpered.
“Once you’re cleaned up and Kevin has stitched you up. Right Kev?” Juyeon told him.
“As long as he doesn’t have a concussion. Could be the blood loss. Let’s get the x-rays first,” the doctor instructed.
“You have an x-ray machine in your basement?” Younghoon questioned.
“A full medical setup. As I said, you think I go to the hospital after you’ve beaten my ass?” Juyeon teased.
“Guess not,” Younghoon yawned.
“Let’s get started,” Kevin commanded.
He ran a full battery of tests, cleaned and stitched Younghoon’s side, and set his nose.
“You didn’t break any ribs, but I suspect you tore the muscles in your chest wall. I’d have to confirm with a CT scan though. Unfortunately there’s not much that can be done for that other than pain medication and limiting activity. It’s gonna hurt to breathe for a while,” Kevin explained when he finished the exam. “Your nose should heal in a couple weeks since it wasn’t a full fracture. You can use arnica to fade the bruises faster.”
“Thank you,” Younghoon tried to smile.
“Of course. You’re gonna need to take it easy in general. No beating the shit out of each other. No fucking either,” he gave Juyeon a pointed look.
“What?” he tried to look offended.
“Don’t act all innocent. I know you,” Kevin said.
“We won’t,” Younghoon assured him. “Hurts to move.”
“I’ll give you some shots to take the edge off. You won’t be pain free though,” the doctor pulled some syringes out of a cabinet. Juyeon held Younghoon’s hand as Kevin administered the medication. He looked down and noticed bruises forming on the other man’s wrists. Juyeon knew those marks.
Handcuffs.
“What did they do to you?” he said under his breath.
“What?” Younghoon looked at him.
“Just talking to myself,” Juyeon smiled.
“All done. You’re free to sleep. Call me if you need anything else,” Kevin started putting things back in order.
“I’ll give you a little extra,” Juyeon said as he picked Younghoon up again.
“No need. The knowledge that you’re fucking your sworn enemy is a bonus in itself,” Kevin smirked.
“Fuck off,” Juyeon glared.
“Juyeon,” Younghoon tried to pinch him and failed.
“Taking you to bed now,” Juyeon carefully carried Younghoon to his bedroom. It took three times as long, but he didn’t want to aggravate any of his freshly repaired wounds.
“Let me get you some clean clothes,” Juyeon put Younghoon down and began checking his closet for something that might fit. “Hopefully your giant shoulders will fit in this.”
“Giant?” Younghoon smiled sleepily.
“Yes, giant. Who even has shoulders that big anyway?” Juyeon replied, dropping his head so Younghoon couldn’t see his smile. He helped Younghoon out of his bloody clothes and into a t-shirt and sweatpants. Juyeon resolved to burn the damaged clothes later. They might be evidence, but he didn’t care.
“You kissed me,” Younghoon looked over at Juyeon when he got in the bed.
“When?” Juyeon propped his head up on his hand.
“Before you called Kevin. You kissed my forehead,” Younghoon explained. “Why?”
“I’ve kissed you on the lips before, haven’t I?” Juyeon pointed out.
“I might be in horrible pain in spite of the amount of morphine in my system, but I know you’re dodging the question,” Younghoon said. The truth was Juyeon didn’t know why he did it. It felt like the right thing to do so he did it.
“Does it matter?” Juyeon questioned.
“It matters to me,” Younghoon told him.
“Would you accept that I don’t know why I did it?” Juyeon asked.
“If it’s the truth,” Younghoon held his hand out and Juyeon took it.
“It is,” he confirmed.
“For two people who supposedly hate each other, we’re not very good at it,” Younghoon observed.
“The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s apathy. I’ve always felt strongly about you. Maybe hate is simply resisting love,” Juyeon shrugged.
“Maybe it is,” Younghoon agreed. They stared at each other for a moment, Juyeon’s statement heavy in the air.
“I believe you wanted to sleep?” Juyeon broke the silence first.
“I do,” Younghoon confirmed.
“Then sleep. I’ll be here,” Juyeon kissed Younghoon’s temple. “I hate you.”
“I hate you too,” Younghoon grinned. “I’d kiss you back, but Kevin said to watch my nose.”
“The intention is there. I can pretend,” Juyeon smiled back.
“Goodnight Juyeon,” Younghoon whispered.
“Goodnight Younghoon,” Juyeon replied. Except Juyeon didn’t sleep. He couldn’t sleep knowing someone had tortured Younghoon, murdered his friend, and he had no idea who it was.
“Not on my turf, fuckers,” he told the darkness. This was his city and no one was going to take it from him. No one.
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wearingaberetinparis · 2 years ago
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Snippet Upcoming Jily AO3 AU
@wonderfullyweirdd this one is for you and I hope it will make you feel so much better after your terrible day. All credits for this idea go to @annabtg who wrote a wonderful fic called AO3 Is Down (read it if you haven't yet). All encouragement of me pursuing this goes to (again) @annabtg, @annasghosts and @practicecourts! Thank you, sweethearts! Anyway, I am naming this oneshot after yet another Taylor Swift song, because I can: everybody is a sexy baby, and i'm a monster on a hill.
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andytonks OMG!!!!!! prongs updated Mischief Managed and do.not.call.me.lilyflower dropped a new AU oneshot at practically the same time! *Shocked emoji* Did I die and go to heaven?! *Pinching herself.*
alice.in.wonderland It’s supposed to be Friday the 13th, right? I was preparing myself for the absolute worst and now my two absolute faves prongs and do.not.call.me.lilyflower updated on the same day?! I could cry actual tears of joy! The only thing that would be better is if they would actually collab.
andytonks OMG!!!!!!!!! I would pay to see them paired up. @notmaryberry work your magic with next month's challenge will you?
notmaryberry I shall take it under advisement. *Thinking emoji* Joking, on it already. *Grinning emoji* They both signed up for the Valentine's one. I mean... could it be any more perfect?! *Heart emoji* But also: nooooooooo!!!!!! I’ve got to bloody work late today and there is no way I’ll be able to read anything before I get home tonight and it’s been such a shitty day that I fear I might not be able to stay up past ten. Why do I have to be a functioning adult while I could read fanfiction all day…? andytonks Babe!!!!!!! That’s so sad!!!!!! But also... you are evil. Pairing them up for Valentine’s… Just let me know where I transfer the money I owe you. *Winking emoji* notmaryberry *Mwah* It's completely free of charge, love. It’s not as if I wouldn’t benefit here immensely myself. I think, actually, that I’m doing the entire community a service. padfoot Look at you ladies scheming without me… I taught you well alice.in.wonderland I feel like Charlie’s Angels. We should do the whole: “Hi Charlie!” whenever you pop up. padfoot *Shudders* I’m so not a Charlie If you’d seen me in real life you’d think I’m too cool for fandom any way Alas My best mate dragged me down notmaryberry @padfoot do you reckon we can make prongs and do.not.call.me.lilyflower pairing up for the V-day challenge look like a coincidence?! padfoot Ha! prongs would immediately suspect anyone who would do such a thing of foul play You know how he gets when anyone mentions she-who-must-not-be-named around him notmaryberry Oh well, he can just voice his complaint and I’ll calm him down. I’m not a teacher for nothing. I’ve got experience with dramatic temper tantrums! (Had to resolve four today, can you believe I teach in secondary?!) Plus, I can just say that I wanted to have two of our most esteemed writers working together, so the fandom could enjoy the magic they create. I wouldn’t even be lying. *High five emoji*
andytonks I’m so confused as to why they don’t like each other?! Like… They are both insanely talented, write for the same fandom and they just full on ignore the other. I’ve never seen either so much as tag the other or reblog the other’s works and the fandom is SMALL!!!!!!
notmaryberry Oh, I keep forgetting that you weren’t around for *the incident*.
alice.in.wonderland Those were dark, dark, dark days… I think it’s tragic to be honest. It’s been… two years by now, I think, right?
notmaryberry Roughly, I think. It's so stupid. It was clearly a misunderstanding. If only @snake.boy hadn’t butted in and made prongs seem as if he was antagonising her…
andytonks Oh, right! Didn’t prongs say that he didn’t like AUs or something?! Or that he thought that non-magical fics were a waste of time?!
padfoot Gross misinterpretation of his words He said he didn’t like *writing* non-magical fic He never said he doesn't like reading it Plus he never once mentioned do.not.call.me.lilyflower That was @snake.boy tagging her in his post and causing hellfire to nearly break up the fandom as a whole
notmaryberry True! Of course, everyone butted in with their two cents and then prongs and do.not.call.me.lilyflower were on opposite ends of a conflict that neither of them started. They’ve been rivals ever since.
alice.in.wonderland I wouldn’t say rivals so much. They just pretend the other doesn’t exist.
padfoot Believe me He knows she exists all too well He seethes in his room over her talents and complains about her imagery, similes and metaphors I caught him reading her works so many times He even has a separate AO3 account where he bookmarks her fics and leaves comments on them He says he’s merely investigating what she’s up to but who is he kidding?! As if this isn’t fanfiction we’re talking about
alice.in.wonderland Hey! Don’t act as if fic isn’t what we actually live and breathe for!
padfoot Course it is It's just that I like prongs to think he’s pathetic for it all Remember that he doesn’t know I’m IN the fandom and that I read his and her work as religiously as some might read LOTR or the Bible
andytonks Honestly, I love you, but you’re such a prick.
padfoot that’s what most people that know me say Except for my mother She would never have said the first
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narcoticwriter · 2 years ago
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Faruzan: (lamenting) All of my life's work and study, just handed over to the Kshahrewar from the Haravatat like they'd be able to do anything with it. Didn't they ever consider that two Darshans could overlap when it comes to what I do?
Al-Haitham: You're still not getting that funding, you know. You don't have enough students.
Faruzan: (huffs) Oh, please. Just because there was a political crisis - one that was long overdue, by the way - doesn't mean that certain areas of study can't stay open. If that were the case, the Akademiya might as well just close its doors for good.
Al-Haitham: (looks up from literal piles of paperwork, deadpans) Oh, I absolutely agree with that Madam Faruzan, but if no one cares about the said area of study, then why would they waste the resources to fund it?
They're going to get physical at some point.
----
Faruzan: (hands him some papers) Kaveh, do you know what this is?
Kaveh: (looking through them) Oh, this is some sort of ancient blueprint. I can take a guess as to what the measurements are, but what is it saying? It's definitely not in any language I know of . . . I don't know what this says.
Faruzan: (to Al-Haitham) See? I told you that it was a terrible idea to separate these studies!
Al-Haitham: (nods) I see. But Kaveh didn't study under the Haravatat, so it's a given that he doesn't know any of this.
Faruzan: (puts her head in her hands) That's not the point.
One century later and she's still throwing hands.
----
Faruzan: I don't know why the Akademiya refuses to fund me. I feel like my course of study is perfectly reasonable.
Tighnari: (suggesting) If funding is your problem, then maybe you should get it for yourself. Have you considered selling some of your fidgets for money?
Faruzan: (currently fussing with one in her hands) What? No! They aren't toys to be played with. They're puzzles to be solved and mechanisms to be observed, meant to stimulate and relax the brain.
Tighnari: (observing this) Mhm. Sure.
I feel like Tighnari is on the receiving end of a lot of bitching and moaning about the Akademiya.
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For dating game: Donna Noble for a non Mash option from something I'm pretty sure I've seen you reblog stuff from, BJ, and Klinger
I can't believe I got 2 Donnas for this game and neither were the MASH one haha. And yes I AM a Doctor Who fan but like with Twin Peaks I'm only a shallow fake one because I only feel really passionate about RTD era :( sowwy again. I'm 0 for 2 today. But at least I didn't skip MASH s1-3 AND I didn't skip the 9th Doctor AND I read Laura's diary + Dale Cooper's tapes. So now everyone has to give me a little headpat and forgive me and say they're not mad at me thank you <3
Donna Noble
I couldn’t handle Donna QwQ I couldn’t match her energy it’s very sad :( I feel like I would do the exact opposite of what the Doctor did for her in terms of bringing out her most amazing qualities. And I do really try to highlight and praise the qualities of people in my life!! I just don’t know if I could help her reach her full potential. Which sounds like one of those weird therapy-talk approaches to relationships but unfortunately sometimes when you really admire someone you actually do start thinking about things like “am I supporting her journey effectively” and all that. But this is just a date right so it can just be a casual thing. I feel like Donna is someone with whom I could straight up be like Hey so I was never socialized properly and your last relationship ended comically terribly so do you want to like try practicing dating with each other? I think it could be fun! And then eventually she could move on to find happiness with Mr. Temple :)  
Wait actually sorry quick tangent if Donna doesn’t remember the Doctor what does she think happened to her fiance from way back when. Does she. Does she remember the giant alien spider or. Hang on--
BJ Hunnicutt
BJ Hunnicutt is the human equivalent of Disneyland. Everybody in the entire nation is absolutely obsessively feral over it it’s sooo beautiful it’s sooo fun you just HAVE to experience it it’s a quintessential expression of the American dream blah blah blah. But I will never attend this overpriced (constantly borrowing money) and overcrowded (too much competition from the rest of Mashblr) theme park. I do not care for its fastpass system (willingness to cheat on his partner) or its uninspiring coaster design (anger issues), and I am further offended to hear of the constant introduction of cost-cutting measures that harm visitor experience (growth of mustache). Not even the prospect of purchasing a fully functioning Cogsworth clock (chance to join the Punnihawk polycule) is enough to tempt me. It’s not happening. I am going to Dollywood (Maxwell Klinger).
Maxie my beautiful girl Maxie whomst is so very adored by me
My wife my kitten my sweet snuggly wuggly good time gal. My Dollywood. Know that I love and adore Maxwell for eternity <3
BUT. I must love her from afar because I couldn’t in good conscience waste her time when I figure there must be a more compatible match out there, ya know? Like, I know hardly anything about baseball and I wear the same clothes every day and I don’t eat red meat so I can’t even share those beloved hotdogs. Max deserves the Best as I’m sure we all agree, and we know he wants a serious long term partnership. I want the same thing, so I know that such a lifelong, committed relationship should be with someone who finds themself more easily compatible with Max’s tastes and interests.  
On an unrelated note, Charles sure seemed to get super into baseball in War For All Seasons, huh? :) And we know he cares a lot about his clothes, as we see him hiring a personal tailor at least once! :) And he was surprisingly eager to get to share in Max’s hotdog delivery in The Grim Reaper, too! :) So many random fun facts in this world \^w^/
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viscountessevie · 2 years ago
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And of course not to mention day drinking on set with heavy equipment … explain this detailed please 🙏
From this bit of my Bton S3 Production Commentary:
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ANON THANK YOU FOR ASKING *cracks knuckles* I’ve been waiting for someone to ask this. So the outline of this answer is actually a paragraph I cut out from the post linked above because Triv said I was being too harsh and Champagne Fridays is mostly a joke. Which is true but also if it is as bad as I imagine, it is a really fucked up thing to bring to work. Especially on a film set with heavy equipment and machinery which brings me to my mini thesis on why Champagne Fridays Are Unprofessional AF!
Okay so quick disclaimer, I will say a lot of the timing and excessiveness is speculation based on what I observed in NC’s stories and the way she & her friend-coworkers on set hype it up. Here’s to hoping Bton is ACTUALLY being professional and responsible for once and it’s not as bad as it seems 🤞🤞
For those who do not know, early on during Bton’s production of S3 in August, Nicola started this thing on set called Champagne Fridays. As the name suggests, the cast and crew drink champagne on set on Fridays. From NC’s stories, she and her make up artists are seen drinking it while they do HMU (hair & make up) for her so that indicates the start of the shoot day/in between scenes for touch ups. I have also seen her take story pictures of having champagne with the clapper which tells us she is drinking with the camera crew during takes/lunch break, basically in the middle of the shoot day. 
[More Under The Cut:]
I don't care if it's Friday and TGIF, it's extremely unprofessional to be introducing AND condoning (this is definitely on the Producers too) something called Champagne Fridays and documenting drinking on set at the start and during a shoot day. If I had to compare it to a everyday sort of job: imagine going into the office and drinking at the start, in meetings and on break throughout the day all while vlogging about it 🤡. It’s just not good etiquette or something you do during work. 
As someone who has been trained as a Producer, here is why this is such a hazard to the job and something that Execs and Producers by right should be shutting this down: 
1) Occupational Hazard: With the HMU team, fine they can just mess up her makeup. However with the camera crew, it is highly dangerous as they handle heavy equipment like huge film cameras, heavy lights & stands, and other similar tech equipment that require care and caution. Someone can be seriously hurt if the crew was tipsy/drunk while handling the tech stuff. Not to mention they are VERY expensive so it would cost production even more money to replace it. 
2) Alcoholism: This practice is very exclusive to people who enjoy and can consume alcohol. If the objective is to keep up morale and encourage team bonding, Champagne Fridays has failed in that respect and does a terrible job. It excludes people who may be recovering alcoholics (also potentially triggering relapses), Muslims or anyone else who abstain from drinking for whatever reason and are not comfortable drinking. Especially in a workplace setting. 
2b) While I am sure they moderate, it still does encourage alcoholism and what if someone can't handle their liquor? Their jobs will be sloppy and would have to be redone - once again costing production’s money and wasting everyone’s time (I actually once joked is CF why they are doing reshoots for S3 - I really hope not, that would be so messed up) 
No matter how you cut it, it just seems tacky to be excessively drinking on a weekly basis and encouraging others to do the same while you are all working and supposed to be present and sober! 
This may sound harsh and I may be bias because its Nicola but honestly if anyone else even Simone or Jonny had done it - I would have absolutely had this same reaction and rightfully criticise my faves. (Speaking of Jimone tho, why couldn’t NC have done an ice cream truck too? That was so cute and inclusive of everyone!!) 
I am harsh because this is what was taught to me in Film School. If my team had done this on one of our sets, we would have been suspended and failed the credit. On actual sets here, it would have been an immediate firing. That’s how serious and dangerous involving alcohol on set is. It really is a slippery slope to being a harmful practice that is cause for concern and safety on set. 
After all this being said, I do hope it was aboveboard, moderated drinking and most times done AFTER the shoot was done for the week and they had the next day off. If it was during the shoot days and at the start as seen in her stories, then it is definitely worrying for the reasons mentioned above. 
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